4 Ways to Love Yourself Again When Your Heart Hurts

Heartbreak is devastating, and it hurts more when it’s a complete surprise. One of the most frequently asked questions of ourselves is “What is wrong with me?” 

The person you were in a relationship with has decided they want something differenthowever, this does not mean there is something wrong with you. 

Heartbreak hurts, and there is no word that can accurately express the depth of the pain you are experiencing, but healing is possible if you desire to move forward. 

Here are some things you can do to lighten the load when your heart hurts: 

Give yourself time to grieve 

One of the first emotions you will experience immediately after heartbreak is grief. There are no rules to grieving and it is totally acceptable to cry out and feel pity for yourself. 

It is normal to feel you do not have the strength to get out of bed or get yourself ready for the day. You need this time to acknowledge the hurt. Give yourself permission to cry and to feel upset, broken, and disappointed. 

Although this may sound counterproductive, grief is a part of the healing journey 


Don’t be too hard on yourself 

The period after a break-up can be filled with self-doubt as we begin to figure out who we are now that we are single. 

During this time of transition, you will need to take small steps. Most important, you should acknowledge and give yourself credit for the little things you accomplish because the little things will add up to bigger wins. 

Remind yourself that you will be okay. Don’t be hard on yourself. Most important do not take the blame for the relationship not working out. When a relationship fails, both parties have contributed to the end in some way. 

You were an amazing person prior to meeting your ex, and you are still an amazing person. You are no less desirable because you are no longer in a relationship. 


Take care of yourself 

The most important person to worry about right now is you. This may sound totally selfish, but it is okay for you to invest all of your time into making sure you are in a great space.  

Create a self-care plan by writing down a few things you can do for yourself. Your self-care plan may include coaching, therapy, getting a massage, going to the nail salon, or even paintingits totally up to you. 

Make sure to also pencil in time to unplug and to focus on reconnecting with yourself. 


Try new things 

When we are in a relationship for an extended period of time, we begin to shed our individual identities. If you are having a tough time remembering what you enjoyed during your single life, you are not alone. The answers can be unlocked by trying new things. 

Give yourself permission to explore lots of new things. You can start by signing up for local classes, attending events, and connecting with like-minded people in new groups in your area. This will likely be an uncomfortable part of the journey, but the best part is that you will have an opportunity to meet new people.  

Heartbreak happens to the best of us. Sometimes your intuition will give you some inkling of a breakup coming, and sometimes, you are totally blindsided. 

Whether you see the signs of trouble or not, heartbreak is never easy. The best thing you can gift yourself after this experience is proper care and support. This will help you recover from this unimaginable heartbreak.