5 Secrets to building a healthy long-term relationship


Every couple has their challenges and battles within their relationship. But have you ever thought of the couples who lasted more than ten years of being together of what are their habits to last that long? For sure, it’s not always chocolates and flowers or romantic date nights. It will not be the grand romantic gestures or even a daily snuggle with each other. It has to be something consistent, something deeper and stable.  

We all know that there is no such thing as a perfect couple or perfect relationship. Still, the secret to a stable and happy relationship is establishing healthy habits with your partner. These habits that you need to practice day to day, month to month or even year to year will significantly impact maintaining and building your love with each other. And once you have habitually practiced them, they will eventually become a healthy routine for your relationship and become an unconscious act.   

We asked some long-term couples what their “Long Term Healthy Habits” make them happy and stay in love with each other.   

Communication is key 

When we say communication, it has to be two way for the both of you. Listen and speak - this is something that couples need to make an effort every single day. Always make it to a point to communicate or reconnect with your partner, whether it’s about something positive or negative. Make sure to have some time to check-in with your partner whether they are at work or with some family and friends but don’t overdo it. It can be a simple as sending some morning text messages or a phone call when they are on the way home. I know that most of us have a busy work schedule, and checking-in with someone could be the least priority, but think of some ways on how you will make your daily communication with each other special and that something you both look forward to every day.   

Also, communicating about your relationship struggles and challenges is a big must. Both of you should address problems within your relationship.   

Don’t lose intimacy 

This can be as simple as a morning snuggle before you get up and make some coffee for your partner or as simple as holding each other’s hand while walking. Love should not just be emotionally connected but also physically attracted to each other. When you lose intimacy, there is a greater chance that the both of you will no longer feel each other’s company. This means the less you have intimacy – the lesser you want it, and eventually, the less you feel connected with your partner. One important thing to remember to make your relationship longer is – “Spicing it up.”    

Do chores together 

Do you have the same interest and hobbies as your partner? Or do you have daily activities like cooking and cleaning? Of course, this only applies to those who live together, but if you don’t, you can still do chores together like going outdoors and do some hiking, painting, or enjoy some fun time at a gallery. It doesn’t matter what activity you both like to do together; it’s time you and your partner spent together.   

Doing chores or any activity together creates connection and intimacy with your partner. It is also the perfect time to practice communicating with each other. If you like cooking, talk to your partner to do the cleaning. Make sure to show some appreciation to your partner at the end of every chore.  

Set Healthy Boundaries 

Spending quality time with each other is essential but balancing your “we time” and “me time.” Spending time apart or having your “me time” is critical. Healthy and happy couples are able to balance their independence and closeness. This signifies a relationship with trust and a sign of emotional maturity for both. Being able to spend quality time with yourself is vital for every person.   

Know each other’s love language   

This may be simple and not important to some, but knowing your partner’s love language also significantly impacts long-lasting relationships. Love language is a simple way to show your affection and express your love to your partner. However, we all have different love languages, and we define them differently. It’s essential to know your partner’s love language because it can help amp up your relationship and avoid disappointments. Here are the different kinds of love languages.   

Act of Service – If this is your partner’s love language, then you must know the phrase “Actions speak louder than words.” This love language is performing tangible tasks for your partner. An example is making his morning coffee or prepping his meal before he goes to work.   

Receiving Gifts – this love language means your partner loves to receive thoughtful gifts, especially if there’s an occasion. This may sound materialistic, but this love language doesn’t necessarily mean that the gift has to be big; remember that it is always the thought that counts and your effort surprising them. No matter how small or big, all thoughtful gifts remind your partner how much they mean to you, and the spent effort they think they worth. Who would want to feel like you missed their birthdays? Of course, it will show that you don’t care for your partner if you missed their birthday. Again, it doesn’t have to be grand. Just make him or her feel that you remember, and he or she is worth the effort.   

Words of Affirmation – This love language is usually in the form of complimenting or praising your partner. Hearing “I love you” and some unsolicited compliments are the icing of a happy-relationship. Words of affirmation doesn’t have to be complicated; you don’t need to write a poem; the shortest and simplest is the most effective. Some examples are:  

“You look extra pretty today.”   
“I love the dinner you cooked for us.”  
“You always make me happy.”  


Quality Time – If you love hanging out with your partner, this love language is for you. Spending quality time like movie night or romantic date night is all about undivided attention. Dedicating time for each other without distractions will help them feel comforted and secure in a relationship.   

 Knowing each other’s love language is vital because it will help both of you feel appreciated and allow both of you to communicate with your relationship needs.   

Over time, our feelings might change in a relationship, so it’s essential to have healthy habits with your partner to keep the love and respect alive and deepen our feelings of passion and intimacy. Remember that it takes a tremendous amount of effort to keep the sparkles and thrill in falling and staying in love, but it’s always worth it with the right person.