Everything You Need to Know Before Having Sex with Your Ex
Having sex with an ex always seems like a good idea, especially for a freshly broken heart. However, having sex with an ex is more like slipping into an old pair of shoes that you’ve had a hard time getting rid of. Sure, the shoes are borderline falling apart, and you know it's finally time to donate them.
But at the same time, the shoes are nicely broken in, so you don’t have to worry about blisters or chaffing. Therefore, you find yourself putting them on again and again. So, while you may have good reason to want to slip back into things with your ex, there are a few things that you need to understand first.
People will have different reasons for wanting to rekindle the old flames with their exes. Some will say that it feels great to be wanted by someone who rejected or abandoned them. Others will say that it is a familiar territory that they feel safe in, while there are a few who hope the sex might rekindle their relationship.
But whichever might be your reason for wanting to rekindle the old flames with your ex, how sex with an ex will affect you differs. While for some, they will feel satisfied and even finally ready to move on, others only end falling deeper into their sadness.
And for that reason, everyone should look at both the positives and negatives of having sex with an ex before considering it. Not just to deter you, but to help you be ready for anything that happens afterward. So, let’s get to it.
Sex with Your Ex Can Soothe all the Hard Feelings
First, I’ll start by saying that this is often a big ‘if.’ If the sex with your ex goes well, it may help to soothe all the hard feelings you carried with you from the breakup. When you have sex, instead of having harsh feelings towards each other, the sexual contact may remind you of the warm sexual attitudes you used to have.
Also, that one last hurrah may help to seal the deal. It gives you an intense and passionate dip before you finally move on. And if you are not the kind of a person who usually makes the one-night stands, doing it with someone you are already familiar with can be rewarding.
Sex with an Ex Might Delay Your Healing Process
Engaging in a romp with your ex might end up disrupting your healing process. Even thoughts of your ex or engaging with them on social media may cripple your ability to move past your breakup. Imagine what kind of contact you roll in bed with your ex up to 4 am will do to you? It will make your recovery slow down to a very agonizing speed.
The sex will also blur your ability to see the ended relationship with your ex through a fresh lens. Remember that everyone from your former relationships holds a place in your life. So, if you keep having sex with them, it will only interfere with your ability to resolve your past and explore partners that will now satisfy in ways no one else could.
And let’s not forget how sticky and complicated the entire ordeal of having sex with your ex can get. You might end up giving each other mixed signals that can be very confusing. Maybe one of you might be hoping that there could be potential for the relationship; the other is there to fulfill their physical needs.
You May End Up in a Cycle of Breakups
When you start having sex with your ex, you are only jumping on a rollercoaster that might not stop. While some couples reconnect, couples who find their connection only after having sex break up again. The sex will compel you to a cycle of breakups and dire disappointments.
It ends up being a band-aid situation that’s preventing you from moving on. To heal a broken heart, you need time. And that is why the entire chemical process involved when having sex tends to counteract this whole process. This can be tough, especially for those who find sex a better form of a bonding experience.
It Can Reopen the Old Wounds
Having sex with your ex in itself is very risky. The fact that you are hooking up, it may reopen all the old hurt. It can force the old pain to resurface just when you thought you are making leaps in the right direction.
You may even end up realizing that the only part of your relationship that worked was the sex. Therefore, if you always had to argue about other things like having kids, you may end up in heated conversations. All the old stuff may resurface and will only make you feel worse about how you could never get a handle on the situation.
Be Cautious Enough Not to Let Words Spoken in Moments of Passion Warm a Way Back into Your Heart
There are specific patterns when the mind or body is exposed, which may trigger some old habits. That can get even more complicated if a well-versed person triggers these patterns with just how to send your entire body into a frenzy of pleasure. That is why, if you have decided to start hooking up with your ex, always remember that no serious conversations should be made in the bedroom.
Unless you hold a serious conversation about where you both stand in each other’s life outside the bedroom, don’t take anything said there to heart. If anything was said last night during a heated moment of pleasure, be sure to revisit it later at a less passionate time.
Well, now, there you have it! We have seen both sides of the coin having sex with your ex. However, it would help if you tread lightly. This can be a slippery slope, and that is why you need to define how to feel about them.
Also, be aware of your expectations towards that situation. And since you know both the bad and the good that comes with hooking up with your ex, at this point, it’s up to you to decide what you want. Good luck!