Having second thoughts about getting married
Walking down the aisle isn’t as simple as what most people imagine. And that’s probably the reason you are having second thoughts about it. I mean, for richer for poor, in sickness and in health and through the good and the bad; is a life-altering decision. That said, what do you do when you are having second thoughts about your wedding? Well, keep on reading to find out more.
Having second thoughts about your wedding is a much familiar feeling than we care to admit. That’s typical because of the fear and what the future holds for you. What’s more, nosy in-laws, non-stop wedding questions, and the idea of merging your lives could easily give you cold feet.
That doesn’t mean your relationship will be doomed
As I said earlier, second thoughts about your wedding are a familiar feeling. That said, it doesn’t mean that your relationship is automatically over! If you are frustrated about the big day, then it’s time for you to look for a quiet place where you can think. You can also take this opportunity to find out how you feel about being married to your partner. That feeling should be calming and full of happiness and not agitation.
What do I mean? As much as you are afraid of the wedding day, the idea of spending an eternity with your partner should make you feel happy. In other words, that idea should bring positive agitation to your mind. More importantly, you should look forward to waking up next to the person you love. I’m sure you will feel optimistic about the big day with the right words.
Take charge of your uncertainty
Uncertainty is most likely an emotion that comes from second-guessing. It’s time to dig deeper into your heart and find the strength to see beyond the wavering. More importantly, anything that creates bumps, or any level of uncertainty should always be addressed as soon as possible. Take time to ask yourself, ‘why are you getting married? Why now?’ These questions will help move past the fear and uncertainty.
Confide in your partner
Telling your partner that you are having second thoughts about your wedding might sound like a bad idea. But trust me, it’s not. Struggling with the marriage is most likely something that your partner will easily understand. Take this opportunity to ask each other why are you getting married? And what have you learned from the marriage of your parents?
That should help you think differently about the wedding and possibly eliminate any second thoughts you might have. However, if that’s not the case, why don’t you consider talking to a third party who has nothing to gain from the wedding.
I’m sure you can find someone who won’t pass judgment on you and will help you understand exactly why you are feeling that way. You might be feeling that way because of the idea of spending the rest of your life with someone.
It’s time to let yourself feel
Most engaged women often feel like they are always expected to be happy about the event and be this effortless chill machine. Well, that shouldn’t be the case. You are allowed to get angry, except, of course, not in front of the camera or start shouting at people. All you have to do is spare a few hours and take a walk to address your feelings.
I’m sure you are probably wondering if it’s the right time, are you getting married to the right partner, should you continue with the wedding plans? All these questions will not magically go away if you keep pretending that you are A-OK. Therefore, a few minutes to feel exactly everything at once will be more helpful than you can ever think.
Another way to deal with this situation is by talking to a therapist about your feelings. You are entitled to have a different emotion from everyone else, so talking to a therapist will help you understand what’s happening.
Fear of changes in the relationship
It’s completely normal to fear that your relationship will likely change after the wedding. And that might be the source of your doubts. If that’s the case, talk to your partner about your plans and what you need from the relationship. And your partner will respect your decisions and try to make sure your needs are met even after the marriage.
Marriage is an official announcement to your relatives and the whole world about your love. Most importantly, it’s an oath, a commitment to each other that no matter the storms, you will stick together to the end. Those are strong words, and they are bound to make even the strongest men quiver. Don’t worry if you have second thoughts since it might only mean you are dedicated to your partner.
Find out if you can work through your problems
Whatever the case, you should always find a way to work with your challenges. However, some specific uncertainties could lead to holding off on the wedding for some time or even calling it off ultimately. Yes, I know, that’s not exactly the outcome you are looking for at the moment. But sometimes, it might be the only thing that could pull you out of the second thought.
Marriage is a bold step and life-changing event. That said, your mind might feel a little scared about this decision. But that doesn’t mean you don’t want to get married- no, siree! All you have to do is appropriately address the cause of your fear, and you will be okay. However, it would help if you remember that this is your big day, and it’s absolutely fine to hold off the wedding until you feel comfortable.
Additionally, if you feel that it’s not the right time to get married, you have all the power in the world to call it off. Yes, you heard that right! All in all, I hope it doesn’t get to that, but that entirely depends on you. So, take control of the situation and make the next step in your life with confidence.