How to Handle the Fear of Rejection


Most people want to belong and to feel connected with others, especially when we care for them. The feeling of rejection can be one of the most challenging emotions to manage. The feeling can be such a significant that we will do everything within our means to avoid it – whether it's for a job, dating, or a friendship. Rejection isn't a pleasant feeling, and it is natural to avoid rejection.  

The pain of rejection can cut to the deepest part of your being; it's a complicated pain to explain with words, yet those who have experienced the emotion instantly cringe at the thought of the experience. I recently learned that rejection appears to activate the same regions in the brain that physical pain does. This means that the same area of the brain that becomes activated when you are hurt physically is also activated when you experience rejection.  

It is easy to understand why, like myself, many people dread or fear rejection.  

The reality is fearing rejection can hold you back from taking risks and living the life you were created to live. Here are a few tips to help you move past the fear of rejection now. Let's get started.   

It happens to everyone 

The great news is you are not alone on this journey. Rejection is a universal experience, and having a fear of rejection is pretty common; so, we all can relate to the thought, feelings, and emotions experienced.   

Rejected can be experienced when being turned for a job, not receiving an invitation, or even a breakup.  

No, how often you've experienced rejection in your lifetime, it never feels good. Sometimes things do not work according to the way we desire; however, we cannot lose the things and people created for us.  

Validate your feelings  

Before you begin to manage the feelings and emotions surround rejection, you must first acknowledge your feelings. Sometimes we attempt to convince ourselves that we are not affected by things such as rejection to save face, but the reality is deep inside, we know that truth, and we must accept the fact before we can heal and move forward.  

The reality is your feelings are valid, and no matter the source of rejection, it hurts. Denial is a tricky thing because it often come coupled with uncomfortable emotions such as awkwardness or embarrassment. For example, we are finally getting the courage to tell the guy that you like him and ultimately learn that his feelings are not mutual. This may cause you to question your decision to open up to him, and it may also impact your self-esteem and how you approach a similar situation in the future.  

The reality is we cannot be everything to everyone, but we will be everything for the right relationship, career, and all things created for us.   

Look for the learning opportunity 

We can carry lessons with us; it may not seem like it initially; however, rejection presents an opportunity for self-discovery and growth.  

Let's say you apply for a job and you receive a letter to advise they've decided to move forward with other candidates. The natural response is to feel rejected, disappointed, and even impact how you feel about yourself. In this moment, the most important thing for you to remember to avoid connecting your worth this a person or companies' decision. The reality, you will never know why they decided to make their decision, but you are still valuable and worthy – the right company and person will see your worth.  

Now is the time to continue sharping your sword so that you can present yourself as the best candidate for the right opportunity. This means reviewing your resume, preparing your interview wardrobe, do mock interviews with a friend, and ensuring you have a positive, uplifting mindset.  

Remind yourself of your worth  

Rejection can be most difficult when you over analyze it. If you've had a few dates and someone randomly ghost you, this does not mean there is something wrong with you, but it does mean they just were not the right person for you.  

Often time rejection is not about you at all. It's not about something you lack or a flaw within you. Rejection is simply a mismatch of desires. Think about going into a draw of socks. If you pick two socks at random, there is a chance they will not match; however, if you continue selecting socks at some point, you will find two match socks; it will just take a bit more time.  

One of the most important things you can do is invest in self-work each day by taking time out to build your confidence and self-worth; the long-term benefits will be seen in every area of your life.  

 Before you Go  

Rejection can crush you make you question yourself, but living with fear will impact your ability to live a happy and fulfilling life. Choose to look at rejection as a mismatch of desire and continue to work on becoming the best version of you for you and yourself.  

When you work on yourself and become the person you were created to be, you will attract the right person and opportunities into your life with minimal effort.