How to Bring Back the Spark in the Relationship and Maintain it

Most people will agree with me that being in love is like an addiction. It doesn't take a genius to know that the first few months for any new relationship is probably the most intense. That's because it's always a pleasure to learn more about your partner.  

However, whether we like to admit it or not, there's a point where the flame burns down. And with that in mind, you always have to find the best way to reignite the spark.   

 Why does the flame die in relationships?   

Couples will have different reasons of what led to the fire dying. More importantly, each couple is bound to have various reasons for how it led to this place.   

Typically, these reasons revolve around not having enough time for each other, which leads to losing the connection. In some cases, that might be because of long-distance or conflicting work schedules. Another reason is; increased responsibilities with children.   

What may have started as a temporary state of disconnect may end up being a habit. And at that point, the priority of spending time together can go from, 'tomorrow' to 'next week' to eventually 'next month.' In the end, spending time together became less of a priority.   

With time, the less time you spend together, the more the two will lack intimacy in your relationship. And the loss of attraction immediately leads to a lack of communication. Both of you will end up feeling frustrated as the distance grows, especially for us, ladies.   

There's ultimately no way to keep the spark in your relationship if you see each other only when passing as you handle your daily responsibilities. If you've reached this point, you will have to refocus and re-evaluate your priorities as well as day-to-day responsibilities.  

How to Bring Back the Spark in the Relationship and Maintain it?   

Well, we all have different love languages. That means, we show love to our partner in a unique way that's probably different from how they do it. That's how we like to feel loved and wanted.   

So, when the spark begins to dwindle, instead of waiting for your partner to show you, love, take the bold step and ask what you want. Trust in your relationship enough to know that requesting for affection and attention isn't such a bad thing.   

For it not to feel awkward for you, try to turn this into a game. At the start of every week, think of something that you could work on that entire week as a couple. Let's say you want your partner to take you out on a date - create a dating day or week.   

The idea may only be intended to last for a week, but this action will spark something in your partner's mind and heart. It will teach your partner what makes you feel loved and how to make them feel loved. Doing something once a week will help to form a healthy habit.   

Forget about your phone 

Okay, this one may sound cliché to most people, but let us talk about it. You've always been told to put your phone down, especially when having dinner. If I know anything about phones, they are addictive. I know how easy it might be for that iPhone to slither its way into your hands when driving a car or, 'god forbid,' on a date with your partner.   

As fulfilling as it might be for you to scroll through your Instagram feed, consider placing your phone far away from you when you are with your partner. Stay present whenever you are together.   

Try something new  

From cooking to traveling, among other activities, try something new as a couple. More importantly, take a break from the regular routines in the house. When you are always stuck in a routine, your feelings will numb at some point, and we are unable to appreciate the love of our partners.   

So, with that in mind, try something off the normal routine-something new and exciting. Seeing your partner in a new environment will help you learn something new about them. Meaning, it's a win-win situation for both of you.   

Spend time apart  

Whether your relationship norm is doing things together or you've been living miles apart, some space will do you some good. Even if you take only an hour of a yoga class or a weekend with your girls, some time away from your partner will make you miss them.   

Additionally, doing your thing will give you topics to catch up and talk about with your partner. Also, taking time for yourself will provide you with the chance to take care of yourself. That will boost your confidence, and we all know what happens when women do things that boost their confidence: Hello, spark!  


Do you remember when you were a teenager and used to make out for hours? It was like the coolest thing to do, right? Times sure do fly! But one thing's for certain, make sure kissing is still part of your relationship to date.   

I don't mean just kissing in general; I mean spontaneous kissing your partner like the way you did back in high school. Don't just kiss to say hello, good morning or goodbye, or even as a way of being intimate. Kiss passionately and deeply, especially when there's no reason at all.   

In Summary  

The bottom line is never to take your partner and the time you spend together for granted. As much as the first spark you felt when you met your partner might no longer be there, you should always try to keep the flame alive. And on those days or times that the flames have died down, it is an opportunity to find new and better ways to reignite the fire.

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