How to Set Healthy Boundaries in Your Relationships
When it comes to romantic relationships, we often think that setting healthy boundaries is wrong or unnecessary. The majority of people tend to see boundaries as insensitive. Also, as though they interfere with the romance and spontaneity of the relationship.
But if you want to create a healthy relationship, setting good personal boundaries is a critical part of the process. When you have effective boundaries, they help to keep your relationship strong and healthy. In case you still don't understand what, we are talking about, by boundaries, we mean the limits you generally put in place to protect your well-being in that relationship.
The best part is that when you communicate your boundaries in a relationship, your partner understands exactly what you expect, along with the consequences for breaking them. That said, in this article, we will discuss how you can establish healthy boundaries in your relationship. So, without further ado, let's get to it!
Communicating with Respect
If you sit back and assume that your partner knows your feelings and thoughts towards something, that's a complete fantasy. That is why you must communicate your feelings to your partner. And to build a healthy relationship, there is a need for mutual respect from both sides during communication.
That said, if you are trying to set healthy boundaries in your relationship, you need to communicate with your partner with a little more compassion and understanding. And most importantly, show respect for your partner's expectations. Generally, if you maintain respect for your partner each time you communicate, it will nature a more robust and healthier relationship.
The goal is essentially to establish a clear understanding with your partner about what you find acceptable in your relationship and what's not.
When setting healthy boundaries in your relationship, don't always jump in to blame your partner for the entire situation of how you are feeling. Instead, take a step back and think about the choices you might also have made in the relationship.
Analyze them and see how these choices might have contributed to that situation. This is something that should apply to both partners. Accountability is all about admitting your mistakes when you are wrong and accepting responsibility for your actions, behavior, values, and attitudes.
Sometimes, when you are setting boundaries in your relationship with your partner, you will disagree with some of the things that your partner needs. However, part of being in a relationship is giving the other person a chance. That is why you need to respect each other's words. And in situations where you are not confident about what they are asking, you need to give them the benefit of the doubt.
That shows that you acknowledge that their needs are important to you as well. These boundaries you are setting in your relationship will help maintain that healthy balance between you and your partner. They will also help to minimize conflicts in the relationship.
You would be lying to yourself if you expect your relationship to be flawless. You are bound sometimes to have disagreements with your partner, but that's normal. But it would be best if you were prepared to handle such situations appropriately.
And that comes down to the fact that; you need to understand that you can never build a healthy relationship by micromanaging everything your partner does or says. You need to know your limits on how your partner's actions affect you and set the right boundaries. That will help to avoid unnecessary strains in your relationship.
So, when there is a conflict, you need to develop resolutions that are a win-win for both parties. Accept change and opinions that you cannot change about your partner while at the same time observing your limits.
A critical part of every healthy relationship is transparently communicating what you need in the relationship. So, when you are discussing and setting boundaries with your partner, you need to be honest about what you are comfortable with or not.
That will help your partner know exactly what to expect from you. You can even take this a step further and write down your expectations to clear what you want and how you'd like things to be.
In a relationship, you naturally expect your partner to honor your needs. However, that goes both ways. It would be best if you also listened to what they need altogether. Even when you are setting your boundaries in the relationship, you also need to listen to what they need. Your relationship should be your safe space, but what matters is the way you say it.
So, while you are at it, you must learn how to communicate effectively. Setting healthy boundaries for your relationship means that you should not make any assumptions about your partner's feelings. Such beliefs are likely to create a lot of misunderstandings.
Sometimes, you may feel like you know your partner too well; hence, you find yourself assuming what they need or want without really asking them. If you're going to show your partner that you value their feelings, ask, and listen to what they need instead of making assumptions.
Before you Go
Establishing and setting healthy boundaries is a skill that takes time. And just so you know, healthy boundaries don't come easy. But if you are open, trust your instincts, and put in the work with your partner, you will build a more robust and healthier relationship over time. Ultimately, a healthy relationship needs clear-cut parameters. For example, most couples will indeed consider cheating as crossing a boundary.
But what does cheat mean to them? Is it sharing secrets, touching, going on dates, fantasizing about someone else, or engaging in awkward physical contact? When the relationship boundaries are clear, in terms of the goals, expectations, and rules that apply, in the end, you will build a strong and stable relationship.